A Labor of Love, Part 1

I didn't really have any intention of posting an epic labor story. You're heard it before- woman goes into labor, there's some pain, and some time later, a beautiful baby is born.

But mine didn't happen like that, because why would something so normal be the end cap to such an interesting* pregnancy?

I'm glad I am the person I am, and that I have the personality and general outlook that I do, because if I were anyone else, the pregnancy may have been the end of me. And then the labor probably would have pushed me over the edge.

--This birth story will be broken into two parts, this one, which will cover the uncomplicated hours, and then one that will be posted tomorrow, which will cover the complicated hours. There is a bonus third section to be posted in two days that will cover our visitors and our doctor--

Due to the cholestasis, we had a planned induction to bring Hugo into the world. Hubs and I (and our moms and Sarah) arrived to the hospital around 8pm on Thursday, June 18 to get checked in and start the induction process.

Thankfully, we have a good friend who is an L&D nurse there, and while she wasn't with us throughout the process, she did hook us up with some amazing perks- for example, our nurse all day on Friday was Reese Witherspoon**! Brooke hooked us up with a beautiful L&D room, with a nice view and plenty of windows. Brooke also wrote us a sweet note to welcome Hugo into the world and encourage Hubs and I through the process. (And gave us candy that I wasn't supposed to have.)

The induction process started out with the official Signing of the Paperwork, getting my IV placed, and getting the initiating medicine inserted. Yes. "Inserted." Two notes on this:

1. No offense to my male friends, but whichever man invented the application concept for the drug Cervadil was an ass-hat.
2. I know it wasn't a woman inventor because no woman would purposefully invent something that has to be inserted vaginally to have CORNERS. Sharp corners.

Anyways, the Cervadil was inserted and I was instructed to lie flat for the following two hours to allow it to adhere and start its magic. The medicine is supposed to soften and ripen the cervix, and hopefully cause dilation and contractions to begin. I did start having contractions, but they were small and weren't effective at their job (opening the cervix).

Friday morning, I got up to pee (gimme a break, I was still 37 weeks pregnant), and when I came out, Dr. C was chatting with Hubs. He asked me to lie down so he could check my progress. Fair. Then he's all:
"Ok now I'm gonna break your water."
And I'm all "whoa whoa whoa! I thought we were going to talk about these things first!"
Dr. C said, "Well I just talked it over with Hubs***."
So I'm not sure if it was in my head or out loud, but some part of me said, "Hubs doesn't have the vagina, so from now on we talk to me about what happens in this one."

So he broke my water, which was a wildly unpleasant experience since my cervix was still so high and mostly closed. It hurt. I cried. I focused on a picture hanging on the wall over the bed that I still don't remember ever seeing upright.

There was no meconium! Man, it's gonna be a great and easy day.

Then the real beast started. Pitocin. The mother of all contraction- and dilation-inducers. At first it was ok, and I was handling it well, but it was hurting my back so bad while I lied in the hospital bed (my back always hurts in hospital beds.. they're so uncomfortable and bend and curve in funny places).

So I asked Reese Witherspoon for a birthing ball, a request she quickly made reality. She got it all set up, and got me all set up with the hospital thunder pad and mesh undies. I got out of the bed and survived what felt like one million hours**** of rough contractions on the birthing ball, with Hubs squeezing my hips together during each one. Nothing else helped as much as Hubs squeezing the ever-living mess out of my hips. Well, the warm cherry-pit thing on my neck was nice, and my ice chips made me not want to die.

At this point I was still delusional enough to think I was doing ok, and decided that we could have one visitor at a time. So our parents came in one at a time to check in on us, and in some cases, annoy me. Everything was going well until Hubs' dad decided to try to teach me how to breathe. In the middle of a contraction. This didn't go over well, and I yelled at him and kicked him out. Sorry Tom. As an aside, though, I am proud to say that this was the only time I lost my temper or yelled at anyone the entire time. Though I feel bad that it was at my father-in-law.

After kicking him out, I realized visiting hours were over for our room, and I endured three strong, close contractions that I couldn't breathe through. These were when I decided I needed the epidural to get through the rest of the day. Not breathing through contractions isn't only bad for me, but is bad for Hugo as well, and we needed him to be as safe and healthy as possible in order to get through the rest of the labor marathon.

The next time Reese Witherspoon came in, I asked (begged?) through tears and contractions for the epidural. She said I had to finish the current bag of fluids, and so I endured another 30 or so minutes of mind-bendingly painful contractions before Dr. B came in with the rolling cart of magic.

Dr. B asked Sarah to leave, because for some reason only one person was allowed in the room with me (not counting Nurse Witherspoon). Sarah said she didn't like him much, but I did. After explaining my fear of needles, he was really kind and receptive to all my questions and requests. But getting into position to receive the epidural was a doozy.

I had to dismount the ball, and sit on the edge of the bed, with my legs dangling. Once Dr. B got my bottom into the correct position, I was instructed to sit Indian-style. It was not an easy feat to pull my legs up into that position during contractions. I was told to arch my back and lean all my weight into Hubs' chest, and Hubs was instructed to not touch my back as it was now a "sterile environment" and instead he squeezed my shoulders during contractions and played with my hair between them.

Dr. B did as I asked and told me everything he was going to do before he did it. He announced he was going to give me a shot to numb the area (it seems to me that there should be a numbing step BEFORE this one. Like.. maybe use some sort of topical treatment to numb the skin and the nearest 3" inside the body. And then use the needle.). I screamed bloody murder. The shot hurt. I worried that I'd made a big mistake and that I'd just made everything worse. After that shot though, I didn't feel the next few steps so I was reassured that I didn't just screw myself over.

I was instructed to lie flat to let the epidural take effect evenly on both sides of my body, and during this time, I played a fun game that I just named: Let's Touch Body Parts and See If I Can Feel It. I couldn't.

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This is the end of Part I: the uncomplicated hours.

Stay tuned for fun*****.

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Honorable Mentions:
Husband: for supporting and encouraging me throughout the entire day. For squeezing my hips with all the force in his hands and knees. For helping me through contractions, even from behind the closed door of the restroom. For paging Reese at my whim. For knowing what to say between contractions to keep me going. For keeping my ice chip cup full, and feeding me ice chips, even though at this point I was still able to do it myself
Sarah: for taking pictures and being present for the entire birth event. For helping Hubs and I with questions, and noticing things that we didn't. For being an active participant of the day. For keeping the ice chip cup full, and allowing me to smell her donuts. For finding the microwave to keep reheating the cherry pit neck thing.
Reese Witherspoon: for being an amazing nurse and supporting us all day. For explaining everything she was doing, and any reasoning behind it. For not trying to hurry us along. For being awesome, even though she was the one who kept increasing the Pitocin.
Brooke: for an amazing L&D room. For two amazing L&D nurses. For coming to visit during the day. For the candy. For the note welcoming Hugo into the world.

* Here I use the word "interesting" to mask my true feelings
** Actually, our nurse's name was Amy, but she looked EXACTLY like Reese Witherspoon
*** Dr. C did not call Hubs, "Hubs"
**** It was actually like an hour and a half
***** Not fun